Do you remember when bravado was equal to confidence? The most ‘manly’ man in the room was the most confident. With mental health movements and conversations surrounding openness and honestly, the ‘confident mans’ form has evolved.
Changes in the male's social role have created confusion for a lot of people. I am no longer expected to be the breadwinner or the most muscular person in my family.
I know that I no longer have to be ‘butch’, ‘loud’ and ‘aggressive’.
So, who is my confident self? How do I discover him?
Finding a like-minded crew can feel like a mission but luckily, we have a few recommendations for you and will continue to create content to help you along the way.
Search safe spaces on the internet. Look for useful resources and make sure they are governed or created by experts. There is a lot of information out there to help you. Be aware of what is personal experience and opinion v’s credible advice from qualified professionals
Jamie Clements has created a podcast called ‘Man Down: The anti-man-up movement’
Let’s Get Men Talking is an Instagram account that reposts men talking about their mental wellbeing as they change the narrative surrounding masculinity
Plight Club have created t-shirts with words such as ‘Vulnerebel’ and ‘Flawed’ on the front to instigation meaningful conversation with colleagues, friends and even strangers
Doolally is a mental fitness app which provides activities to elevate your mood and exercise that mental health muscle
The hardest conversations to have are the ones that are most worth having making vulnerability one of the strongest acts. Who in your life can to you feel comfortable branching open, honest and authentic conversations with? If no one jumps to mind, there are many professional resources online including Samaritans or the resources above are a great place to start. Reply to their stories, comment on posts, see what others are saying.
Kindness is the new cool. It takes real confidence to be your authentic self and live by your own moral compass, even when people around them may not feel ready to do the same thing. Lead by example, be the mentor you wish you’d had. Discover and write down your values. Even if they change, adapt and evolve, they will help you make grounded decisions that you can have confidence.
Self-care is not your selfish. We have all heard the phrase about ‘putting your own oxygen mask on first’. Get enough sleep, exercise, find your grooming routine, eat well, find your balance of health and hedonism. Own the morning, own the day, own the decisions you make. If one of these things if off-kilter, it can really affect your mood, the decisions you make in the day and your confidence. Love yourself and you become able to love others in a new way.
Enjoy the Journey
No one expects you to be perfect so do not put the expectation on yourself. Some of the greatest learning curves come from making mistakes. See yourself as a plant, growing continuously when you give it the right amount of water and sunlight.
What do you do to create confidence? It would be great to hear from you.